Anybody got a magic wand?

I hurt my back nearly a year ago and it has never healed. More recently it has become more serious. I can't bend, squat, or lift anything that's heavy without hurting myself. You don't realize how much your back does for you until it's not working right. Sitting, standing, walking, and sleeping for long periods have become incredibly painful activities.

As a result of all this pain, I've had to go on disability leave. So far I've been off of work for about a week and a half and it didn't really click until today (as I was filling out the FMLA paperwork to protect my job) that I don't know when I'm going to be better. There is a space on the form for 'expected return to work date' and I don't know when that's going to be. Life is miserable right now, the pain meds I have aren't controlling the pain. And even though I have this large bulk of time off, I am physically unable to do anything more strenuous than a light walk in the park. I don't know when I'm going back to work or when/if my back is going to get better...and it's freaking me out.

I kept rehashing these same thoughts over and over. I couldn't find anyone to talk to, so I was dealing with this by myself. I got all teary...I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just the thought that for the first time ever I've done something to my body that's not a quick fix. I'm a girl who only ever takes tylenol and maybe a vitamin, and suddenly I'm on all these meds and my dr. doesn't know when it's going to be fixed.

Ok...it's all out in the open. I am releasing all of these fears and worries into a bubble and blowing them away (ridiculous I know, but fun to visualise). I'm going to do everything I possibly can on my part to get better and deal with whatever the future brings.